Monday, December 05, 2005

How to respond to Nigerian Spam Mail

The ingenuity and implicit humor found in Nigerian spam mail inspired a close friend of mine, Mike Flynn, to send this incredicle response.

This could be the funniest thing I have read in a long time . Well done Mike.

Re: Next of Kin

Dear Paul,

By a most uncanny coincidence, I am also soliciting a barrister, preferably a national of your country, who worked with Shell development. By a most unfortunate series of events, I was being held hostage in the trunk of the car that claimed the lives of your client. Fortunately I was blown clear of the wreckage and was able to make my way through the jungles of Nigeria to the Plains of Arjuna dragging a dozen large boxes that I was informed by the sister of the mailman who claimed to be the ilegitimate heir to the throne of Uganda, Mr. Yanindada N'Golo Botticelli Vespa, manservant to your client, contained bars of gold bullion!

When I made it to the Baltic sea I was able to obtain safe passage (after many months of hardship as a fish monger's wife) in a freighter to northern Llapland where I met a Nordic Shaman named Odin who told me you would be contacting me after 23 full moons to fulfill my economic desires.

Paul, I feel I can trust and confide in you and feel from your words that you are a man of God and the people who will help me in my time of need. If you can help me with my immediate need of exporting 300,000,000 pink plastic monkeys to Jakarta I will then be in a better position to provide assistance in routing US$106M to my accounts in Lichtenstein.

be the ball Danny,

Dear Sir/madam

I am Barrister paul debayo Solicitor. I am the Personal Attorney to Mr
Thomas Anindya, a national of your country, who used to work with
shell development company in Nigeria.On the 2nd of may 1999, my
client, his wife And their three children were involved in a car
accident along Sagbama Express Road. All occupants of the vehicle
unfortunately lost there lives. Since then I have made several
enquiries to your embassy to locate any of my clients extended
relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his
relatives over the Internet, to locate any member of his family but of
no avail, hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in
repartrating the money that belong to my client before they get
confisicated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge
deposits were lodged.

Particularly, the Bank where the deceased had an account valued at
about $30million dollars has issued me a notice to provide the next of
kin or have the account confisicated within the next ten official
working days. since i have been unsuccesfull in locating the the
relatives for over 3 years now I seek your consent to present you as
the next of kin of the deceased since you are from the same country
and bear the same last name ,so that the proceeds of this account
valued at $30 million dollars can be paid to you and then you and me
can share the money. 55% to me and 40% to you,while 5% should be for
expenses or tax as your government may require, I have the certificate
of deposit that can be used to back up any claim we may make. All I
require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this dealt

I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement
that will protect you from any breach of the law.Please get in touch
with me by my email to enable us discuss further.


Best regards,

Esq:paul debayo

1 comment:

  1. HIlarious! Nice work, Mike.

    and thanks for passing it on, Will,